Our Dad, our favorite person, died Sunday morning. As Megan said in her Instagram "Heather and I want to scream from the mountain tops that the world should be morning the loss of our incredible father." We want to use our little platform here to share a bit about our Dad , because we feel everyone should know and care. Our hearts are broken. I keep trying to think of a stronger word for love, but can't come up with the perfect way to describe my love for him.
We are in shock by his passing. 6 weeks ago he was visiting Megan in Virginia, then onto NYC where he walked 8 miles a day, in perfect health. We have never known him to be sick, always strong and healthy. He started to look a little jaundiced mid November. On November 15th he went to a doctor, and they found a tumor in his pancreas. Then everything got bad quick, but because the tumor was small he qualified for a Whipple procedure. This was to give him 2-5 years on average. Megan and I were distraught at this lifespan. But would take it. The Whipple procedure was done about a week and a half ago, but the day after they found a large blood clot. They were able to remove it, but he was sedated after the procedure, until he passed. After several surgeries and complications, our father passed last Sunday the 22nd. His wife and all seven children, were able to be with him as he passed. He died painlessly and peacefully.
We are angry, bitter, sad, feel cheated, we didn't even get the average months one would get if they were not to have the Whipple procedure. We didn't even get to start fighting the cancer. My brother gave me some peace about this, he said some people have a "farewell tour" when a loved one gets diagnosed with cancer, spend loads of time together, vacations together, etc. He said we wouldn't have done anything different. We are a very close family, 5 of 7 of us live within 15 minutes of each other and our parents. We were already doing everything together. The boys go on several "boy trips" a year, Dad always went, he wasn't invited to be nice, they wanted him there. For 7 years I have lived by my parents, my Dad and I would often go to lunch or dinner, sometimes 3 hours long just talking. He loved to talk. I would do a dinner date with my Dad anytime over dinner and movies with a girlfriend. All the kids consider him their best friend. My Dad was the life of every party and made everyone special. The prefect phrase is "To know him is to Love him." If you were lucky enough to meet my dad, you loved him.
Megan here...just to add to what my sister has said. I simply adored my dad. Every word I (or my siblings) are speaking of him now in his death would have been said the day before his diagnosis. He was incredibly loving and caring. I would never wish this sadness or sorrow upon anyone.
The past 5 or so years I've moved around since my husband has been in school. My parents have come to visit us often. Those precious weeks with my dad are forever mine. My children love him. He is funny and so much fun to play with.
I write this in my parents home, sitting at his table. It feels as though he'll walk in any moment. I think I am still in shock. It was too fast. We were cheated. My life will never ever be the same. I miss him dearly. What I would give for one last bear hug.
Megan and I will take the holidays off, try to find some peace, and hopefully the blog and quilting will be the distraction we need to help us through some of this grief.
Love you Daddy
If you want more info, or more detail, here is the blog we set up to update people when this all started. Geoff Lighten blog.
If you want more info, or more detail, here is the blog we set up to update people when this all started. Geoff Lighten blog.
strips. Cross-cut into:
