Friday, June 11, 2010

"Hope Grows quilt" by lovely bud...

Don't just scan through and admire the photos here, this is a beautiful post and quilt by lovely bud. She lost her little baby boy and needed a way to transfer her grief. Thank you for letting us share your sweet story about your precious baby boy....


i think we most truly know and are connected to something when we lose it

i think we are forever captured in that moment, tied to what we lost. the pain holds us tight and teaches us our destiny

the movie "master and commander" tells the story of an english naval captain and his crew aboard their ship during the napoleonic wars. the crew is comprised of both hardened old seamen and fresh young boys that don't even seem old enough to leave home. one of those youths loses both his arm and his best friend at sea. as i re-watched it recently i realized those losses didn't drive him from the sea, rather they tied him inseparably to it.

my deepest loss, my greatest pain came while creating, while mothering - i lost my third son during birth on his due date six months ago

and now i can't stop creating - if a day goes by without creating art, teaching my children, sewing, cooking or gardening i feel like i am dyeing

and i am now united to motherhood in a way i was not before,

i am forever bound to the act that caused me the greatest pain, defined by my life's deepest loss and i am so grateful

he never spoke a word but he taught me more than anyone

i am grateful but i wish it had never happened. i only want to hold him alive but i trust God's plan. what craziness, but if you have experienced it you understand

so this is for the women with aching empty arms and holes in their hearts this mother's day. for the women who long to bear children, who have lost grown children, who have to grieve their baby's death instead of celebrating their birth

you are a mother in such a special, intense way, committed to mothering even when it costs you all you have. your treasure is in heaven. your broken heart is beautiful, strong

and for those that hold perfect healthy children, the challenge is to not drift away unawares. to deeply know and love and cherish what we hold without the sting of losing these gifts

my baby's body rests in the sea - alone, but my son is in heaven with Jesus. i thought i admired both places before, but they are indescribably beautiful to me now

for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also - matthew 6:21
Six months ago I lost my son. I found out two months after losing him that I was pregnant again. In order not to give in to fear I have committed myself to creating like never before. God has calmed my heart as I have busied my hands making things and it has been very healing to see beautiful things made in the aftermath of such loss and brokenness. I sketched ideas for my very first quilt and a drawing of a single flower, rising out of a vase to reach out a window came naturally. Realizing that this was an image of the hope I was longing for I began to make this quilt. Pictured above is the front and below is the back.

I ordered several fabrics for the quilt that ended up not being quite right so I was so excited when I found this Moda fabric that V and Co. was selling in her shop. My process was pretty simple. I sketched my design on big paper the size of the quilt. Then I traced over the flower and vase to make patterns for the appliques before I cut out the large shapes that I would make the quilt out of. I laid the paper and tracing paper patterns directly on the fabric and cut around them leaving a seam allowance. Then I pieced together the front and back of the quilt using basic sewing technique.


I ordered several fabrics for the quilt that ended up not being quite right so I was so excited when I found this Moda fabric that V and Co. was selling in her shop. My process was pretty simple. I sketched my design on big paper the size of the quilt. Then I traced over the flower and vase to make patterns for the appliques before I cut out the large shapes that I would make the quilt out of. I laid the paper and tracing paper patterns directly on the fabric and cut around them leaving a seam allowance. Then I pieced together the front and back of the quilt using basic sewing technique.


Here are some detail shots of the quilt. And for all you who may be good at drawing and designing but feel that your sewing skills are sketchy - YOU CAN make a quilt! You can draw out a design, make your own pattern and use basic sewing techniques that are explained in a myriad of fabulous blogs... and then you can send your quilt out to be quilted and bound (I am thankful that I have a wonderful teammate in my mom) I know, I know, learning to quilt it probably isn't that scary either.... But for those of us with a phobia of math, measuring and matching corners, this may just be our niche - freehand quilt pictures?!
Since all quilters are artists, their work must be signed! Here's to you lovely bud blog and all the creations you have inspired in your young life.  


and while I hope for healthy babies and many years to watch them grow, my hope and my faith is in God because there is more to life than this world... and I am thankful for His love and the gift He has given us to follow in His creative nature

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

10 comments:

Amber H. said...

This is a grief that nobody should go through. I love the quilt.. you can really tell it's from the heart and soul.

What a beautiful quilt, especially with all of the detailing with the hand-stitching.

The Johnsons said...

Your quilt is lovely and your story has touched my heart.

I too lost a sweet baby, stillborn at 42 weeks. She would have been 13 this October. Not a day goes by that I don't feel that ache in my arms, even though I have three beautiful, healthy children.

When she was born, the nurses wrapped her in a pretty little quilt that someone had donated to the hospital. I still have that quilt, tucked away in safe spot. When grief overwhelms me, I pull out that quilt, wrap myself in it and feel like a small part of her is with me.

Born still to us, but alive to God...Thank you for sharing your story!

Sara said...

Thanks so much for sharing. What a beautiful quilt with a special meaning. My heart goes out to you ... so sorry for your loss.
You did a great job with the quilt!

Heather said...

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. It is so touching. The quilt is beautiful!

Kianna said...

I love the colors. The story is sweet and special. Thanks for sharing!

KennaCaroline said...

Such a sad story. I am sorry for your loss. Being creative is a good outlet for grief. Thank you for your story.

amy smart said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your beautiful quilt and for your courage in sharing some of the deepest thoughts of your heart. Those thoughts humbled me and helped me to feel more grateful for God's infinite love and wisdom.

Best wishes.

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

Such a lovely quilt and story behind this one is heartbreaking, yet filled with the peace, love and hope that "lovely bud" has from her faith and relationship with God. Thank you for sharing.

Blessings & Aloha!

janet said...

Your beautiful quilt and the story behind it has deeply touched me. My heart is with you. As a mom of a childhood cancer survivor I can relate on a small level to the pain you feel, and I am so glad that you have faith in God. God and a creative outlet have gotten me through so much too.

prashant said...

I am so sorry for your loss
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